if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I want a musical about memes.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
