My brain says no but my pants say off.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
