you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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