Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
