Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
