He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
