I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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