Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
