the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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