margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
