apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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