Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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