Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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