Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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