Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
