i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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