Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
