I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
