The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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