you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize