Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
