Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
