just survived the first fart of the relationship.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
