rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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