Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
