the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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