Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
