the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
