My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize