I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
