I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize