Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just want to make out with him forever
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
