she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm at about main and main street
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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