whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
