no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
