I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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