Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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