I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
