were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How naked do you want me to be?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
