That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
