there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
