Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
