Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
