I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize