dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
