When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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