I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
