I need help removing her.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
