will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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