she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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