If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
