Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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