Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize