If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
