Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
