you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
A+ Viking dick
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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