peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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