This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
