well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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