So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
