Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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