i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
