she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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