I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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