I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
